Transformation To Mommy-hood

The biggest life changing experience has finally come to my life, and not a moment to soon! I'm going to be a mommy!
This blog will my my journey and hopefully something that will help me keep my sanity throughout this experience, and maybe some other people out there will find it entertaining enough. Wish me luck!

I got Paulina this Bright Starts play gym but i think i may have picked the wrong one, seems that this is too small and she’s starting to outgrow it already. You might want to get a bigger one with more stuff on than this one. It does not come with a lot of stuff too.

Paulina has been “asking” to eat real food, especially when she sees us eating . She is 5 months now, so I asked her pedia if I could give her something and she suggesting using this Munchkins mesh pacifier and put in fruits or veggies one kind at a time (to watch for allergies). She looooves it! I gave her a piece of clementine to munch on.

At 5 months Paulina is now ready to use the seat for her stroller and it was time to put the bassinet away. A little bit of a relief since it took a lot of space in my car’s tunk. But the Uppababy Vista is a bulky stroller, however, I do love how safe it is for my baby.

I got her this Bumbo chair with tray when she turned 4 months because her pedia said she could start eating solids but was too young for a high chair.
Its nice but my baby didnt seem to like it that much. But its helpful enough for 20 minutes! 😋

The weirdest feeling…

Sitting across from my hudband feeling like its akward first date…

Adjusting. Coping. Understanding…Whatever you want to call it…

It’s been 2 weeks now since my little Lia arrived and a whirlwind of changes has happened. I guess things change when a baby comes into your life, and different things come into perspective. For me, what changed was my whole outlook on life, on my own lifestyle. Yes, I still enjoy the fancy, but its not as important as I used to see it. Right now, Lia’s safety seems to be the only important thing for me. In the case of my husband, things have changed drastically. I would have never expected this to come about. 

I have always taken care of myself and praying that I would not have post partum depression, little did I know that this existed in men as well. During the course of my pregnancy, everything seemed wonderful, blissful even. Me and my husband were happy, he was supportive and caring. All of that changed the moment I went into labor. 

He was panicked and anxious, and even asked not to come to the OR for my C-section. Goodbye to my dreams of having my husband hold my hand throughout the ordeal. I didn’t know anything was wrong during the 3 day stay at the hospital, which was stupid of me. I should have noticed it sooner. He looked at our baby in strange ways, constantly questioning me if everything was normal with her. Whenever Lia would cry he’s look so stressed out and just scared. I thought that was normal given the circumstances, first child and all that. But what we came home to was something I didn’t expect.

My husband who usually joked around and laughed with me all the time was now quiet, withdrawn, empty. It was like talking to a ghost. For the past week he wasn’t sleeping, even though I slept in the other room with the baby. After one week, I had decided to confront him about his negative attitude and it all came out. I urged him to talk thinking it would make things better, but it didn’t it continued and I realized that this was more than just simply a sleep problem. It has been days of crying myself to sleep thinking about how much he’s changed and how much more complicated our situation has become that it has taken time off me enjoying Lia. I looked up post partum depression for men, not really knowing it existed but it really did.

Reading about this makes me scared. I don’t know how it will affect me, our baby, and our marriage. I love my husband and I’m trying to be there for him to make him see this blessing in our lives but I just feel like breaking down, Im exhausted mentally, emotionally and I don’t know what to do. This was supposed to be the time for me to rest and be taken cared of but instead, Im taking care of both my husband and my baby. Trying to hold my family together is the hardest thing I have to do at this time. Sad part is, I cant do anything about it.

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